


i know i've kissed you before (but i didn't do it right)

by GallifreyanFairytale



Series: lead me to the garden (winter atla femslash week 2021 fics) [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: (but.. slightly different), 5+1 Things, ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Alcohol, Aromantic Bumi II (Avatar), Assassination Attempt(s), Drunken Kissing, F/F, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Izumi and Kya II Are Cousins, Kissing, Lesbian Kya II (Avatar), Non-Graphic Violence, Practice Kissing, Pre-Canon, Spin the Bottle, Stargazing, Undercover Missions, i mugged the pre-tlok timeline and left it for dead in the si wong desert, lesbian lin beifong, very minor Sokka/Zuko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29132034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanFairytale/pseuds/GallifreyanFairytale
Summary: can i try again, try again, try againtry again and again and again?five times lin doesn't kiss kya right, and one time she does
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Series: lead me to the garden (winter atla femslash week 2021 fics) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137752
Comments: 37
Kudos: 173
Collections: Winter ATLA Femslash Week 2021





	i know i've kissed you before (but i didn't do it right)

**Author's Note:**

> for day one of winter atla femslash week: kisses/first kiss
> 
> some notes: the post-atla/pre-tlok timeline is something i do not respect in any capacity, so in this fic, pema was born the same year as tenzin (as she should have been), kya was born just under two years before tenzin, and izumi was born a few months before kya. also i have no clue when pema and tenzin actually got married, but i'm 100% sure i got it wrong in this because i did make pema older than she is in canon.
> 
> also sokka and zuko are married and izumi is their adopted daughter
> 
> title from pink in the night by mitski

**i. 135 AG, Air Temple Island**

“What if he wants to kiss me?”

Kya stops, the brush halfway through Lin’s hair. Her first instinct is to shrink away and mock gag at the thought of her brother kissing _anyone_. If Kya is being honest, she doesn’t think Lin and Tenzin will last through the night, so kissing should be the _last_ thought on their minds.

But she isn’t here to judge Lin, and she isn’t here to push her pessimism about this whole relationship onto Lin. 

She runs the brush through Lin’s hair a few more times before she sets it down on the dresser. She meets Lin’s eyes in the mirror. “I don’t think Tenzin’s the _kiss on the first date_ type. You shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

Lin looks unsure.

Kya sighs. She pushes the various items on her dresser all to one side so she can sit on it and face Lin. “Even if he _does_ want to kiss you, you’re allowed to say no. Tenzin will respect that, and if he doesn’t, I’ll kick his head in.”

Lin scoffs. “I can kick his head in _myself_.” Kya thinks maybe whatever pre-date nerves had Lin on edge are gone now, but as soon as she’s spoken, she hunches her shoulders and looks away. “I’ll have to kiss him eventually, though, right?”

Not if Kya’s right and they break up half an hour into their date. Kya can’t say that, though, so she opts instead for, “Not if you don’t want to. You don’t--” Kya stops short, a thought suddenly occurring to her. “Lin, have you kissed _anyone_ before?”

“No,” Lin says, like it should be obvious. “This is my _first_ date, full stop. Who would I have kissed?”

Kya throws her arms up in the air, exasperated. “I don’t know! You’re almost eighteen, though. How have you never kissed anyone before?”

Lin crosses her arms and furrows her eyebrows. “It’s not like people are lining up to date the daughter of the Chief of Police. Can you honestly name _one_ person my mom doesn’t scare besides you, your siblings, and Izumi?”

Kya opens her mouth, but she doesn’t have an answer. “Fair enough,” she grumbles. She shakes her head. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I just… can’t believe you’re expecting your first kiss to be _Tenzin_.” Truly, Kya can’t be expected to help Lin get ready for this date and _not_ take a jab at her brother. It’s an unspoken rule of sibling-ism.

(And Izumi isn’t here yet to tell Kya off for it.)

“Hey, now.” Lin hits Kya’s arm. “Can’t you put away your sibling rivalry for _one_ night?”

Kya makes a show of rubbing her arm, despite the fact that Lin’s punch didn’t hurt in the slightest. Something dark in her chest tells her to keep going with the anti-Tenzin rhetoric, and maybe she’ll convince Lin to end things before the date even begins. But she can’t do that to Lin, and she can’t do that to Tenzin either. “I suppose I could _try_.”

Lin laughs, like she’s done thinking about whether or not Tenzin will want to kiss her tonight (which, once again, _gross_ ), but it only lasts for a moment before she gets a pensive expression on her face. Hesitantly, she asks, “What… What is it like - to kiss someone?”

“It’s--” Kya frowns. “Depends who you’re kissing, I guess.” She places an arm on Lin’s shoulder. “Since I’m your friend, I’m going to be honest with you. Your first kiss, more than likely, won’t be what people make it out to be. Tenzin’s never kissed anyone either, so it’s going to be messy and awkward. You probably won’t get it right on the first try, and that’s fine. Most people don’t.” Kya leans back and shrugs. “Your first kiss is something you just _get over with_. The kisses after that? _That’s_ when it gets good.”

Lin nods slowly, studying Kya intently. And Kya is overcome by the overwhelming desire to offer something so, very, incredibly, stupid. She likes to claim Bumi is the one who acts most like Uncle Sokka - jumping into things impulsively and coming up with plans that _might_ end very badly if not for his wild luck in life - but in this moment, Kya feels like this is absolutely a situation Uncle Sokka would get himself roped into.

“If you want to get it over with,” Kya starts before her brain can catch up and remind her that this is probably the worst idea she’s had in her entire life, “I could help you practice.”

 _You’re nineteen!_ Her mind screams at her, half a second too late. _You are_ far _too old to be offering practice kisses like an awkward pre-teen!_

Lin doesn’t look particularly put off by Kya’s suggestion, but Kya is still praying to Yue and La for Izumi to arrive and save her from her own lack of critical thinking skills.

“I’m sorry--” she starts, but Lin interrupts her.

“Would you?”

Kya’s eyes widen in shock. “I mean… I don’t want to, like, steal your first kiss away from you,” she responds slowly. She needs to calculate each word carefully now, because this is dangerous territory. Lin is going on a date with Tenzin. Tonight. And if it _doesn’t_ go up in flames, Tenzin is going to be Lin’s boyfriend. That’s how this works.

“You just said it’s best to ‘get your first kiss over with’,” Lin points out.

Kya curses silently. She _did_ say that. 

Well. It’s not like she can back out now. “Okay. If you’re sure, then.”

“I’m sure,” she insists. She stands up from her chair so she’s face-to-face with Kya, who is still seated on the dresser. She’s still staring at Kya with an intent expression, like she’s going to treat this kiss as a competition. Kya doesn’t let her mind run anywhere with _that_ thought. 

She glances at the door, making sure it’s shut, and then lifts her hand to cup Lin’s cheek. Her other hand finds its way to Lin’s waist and pulls her closer until Lin is standing in between her legs and they’re half a breath apart from each other.

Lin is the one who closes the distance between them, slotting her lips against Kya’s. 

And okay. Kya’s known she’s a lesbian since she was fourteen, and she knows - objectively - that Lin is very pretty. Both of those are simple facts of life.

But _Tui and La_. 

Kya wasn’t expecting anything special from this kiss. However, as soon as Lin’s mouth is on hers, all of Lin’s previous ambivalence towards kissing seems to vanish. One of Lin’s hands, which has been resting on Kya’s shoulder, winds up into Kya’s hair. Kya tilts her head and tightens her grip on Lin’s waist, and Lin responds with a small sound Kya feels more than hears. 

Kya finds she doesn’t really want to pull away, either. She leans further in towards Lin, careful that she doesn’t topple off the dresser, and pretends the fireworks exploding in her stomach are just from the fact that she’s kissing anyone at all. Pretends she felt this way when she kissed one of Tenzin’s friends on a dare.

(She didn’t. She felt this way kissing her ex-girlfriend, but she _isn’t_ going to examine that right now. Or ever.)

Lin pulls back, but she keeps her hands on Kya. Her eyes are wide and her cheeks are flushed. 

She’s beautiful.

Kya is screwed.

She pushes the beginnings of a realization she does _not_ have the time or energy for to the back of her mind and asks Lin, “So? Was it everything you dreamed a first kiss would be?”

“Yeah,” she responds in a breathless whisper. “Something like that.”

Their faces are still far too close for comfort, and Kya is on the edge of her second bad decision of the night when someone knocks on the door, and Lin jumps backwards, stumbling into the chair and falling to the ground.

“Can one of you two open this for me?” Izumi’s voice rings out. “My hands are full.”

“One second!” Kya calls back quickly, hoping she doesn’t sound as shaken as she feels. She fixes her hair as Lin pushes herself back to her feet and opens the door for Izumi. If Izumi notices anything off about Lin’s appearance (or Kya’s, for that matter), she doesn’t mention it. She just thrusts the makeup she brought into Kya’s arms and starts explaining exactly what she’s going to put on Lin’s face and why.

Kya doesn’t listen to any of it. She’s still replaying the kiss in her mind, trying to come up with any explanation for how electric it felt besides the obvious.

But she can’t _like_ Lin, not like _that_. Lin is dating her _brother_ , and Lin has never insinuated she’s anything other than straight. Or… she hadn’t until she agreed to kiss Kya a minute and a half ago. But that was practice, that was _getting it over_ _with_ , and Lin is going on a date with Tenzin.

So okay. _Maybe_ Kya liked kissing Lin a _little_ more than she would like kissing someone who’s strictly a friend. But that doesn’t _mean_ anything. It’s just a little infatuation that Kya will get over as soon as Tenzin comes back home and announces that Lin is officially his girlfriend. It’s _fine_ , and Kya needs to focus on doing Lin’s hair while Izumi paints her eyelids golden.

(The date does go well, but Tenzin and Lin don’t kiss that night. They don’t kiss until two months later, and Lin tells Kya it was soft and sweet and perfect instead of admitting that she doesn’t think kissing Tenzin will ever come _close_ to what it was like to kiss Kya.)

**ii. 138 AG, Republic City**

“I know exactly what you two need!”

Kya groans. Where did Bumi even _come from_? Wasn’t he supposed to be at work right now, instead of bothering Kya while she tried to console Lin? She and Tenzin had officially broken up now, and it had been a long time coming, but Kya wasn’t going to doubt that it still stung. Scratch that - she wasn’t going to doubt that it stung he’d clearly dumped Lin to be with Pema instead.

Spirits, Kya _really_ hates her brothers sometimes.

“Go away, Bumi,” she growls.

“No, no, I’m serious!” He plops down on the other side of Lin. “You need to get your mind off things. One of my pals is having a party tonight, and I promised him I’d go. You two should come with! It’ll be the perfect distraction. Eat a little food, do a little dancing,” he lowers his voice, “get a little drunk.”

Kya rolls her eyes. “So you want us to babysit you? We’ll pass.”

“If you’re sure…” Bumi makes to move, but Lin reaches out and stops him.

“Wait.” She glances over at Kya. “Maybe he’s right.”

Kya frowns. “Lin, you’re too young to drink. And if your mom finds out, she’ll kill both of us, and Bumi too, because if I go down, I’m throwing him under the bus.”

Lin scoffs and rolls her eyes. “If my mom hasn’t metalbent Tenzin into his own personal prison cell yet, I think we’ll be fine.” She sits up straight and crosses her arm. “Besides, I wasn’t talking about the drinking. I was talking about the distraction.”

Kya sighs. She doesn’t want to go to any party Bumi’s been invited to (last time that happened, she had to freeze someone to the ceiling and make a quick getaway before Toph showed up), but today is about helping Lin deal with the breakup. And if Lin wants to go to a party, Kya supposes they can go for at least a little while.

“Fine. We’ll go to the party.”

Bumi jumps up and cheers until Kya shoots him a glare, and he sinks slowly back down and whispers an apology.

\--

Two hours after they arrive at the party, Bumi comes up in between Kya and Lin and links his arm with Kya’s. “We’re going to play a game!” He announces, and Kya can smell the alcohol in his breath. She tries to slip her arm away, but he tightens his grip. “Kya, _please_?”

“I’m not playing anything that involves drinking.” Kya tugs her arm away from her brother. If she’s forcing Lin to stay sober tonight, she can stay sober herself too. Besides, it’s going to take both of them to drag Bumi home.

“It _doesn’t_ involve drinking!” Bumi counters, like it’s the greatest bit of information he’s ever heard. “Kya, you’re gonna miss out on _sooo_ much fun.”

Lin laughs, distracting Kya completely from whatever she was going to say. “Okay, Bumi. We’ll play.”

“Yes!” He cheers. He grabs Lin’s arm and drags her away. Lin reaches for Kya’s hand, tugging her along after them, and gives her a look that clearly says _If I’m doing this, you are too_. Kya swallows down the simple fact that she would follow Lin anywhere she asked, and it burns worse than any drink at this stupid party.

They end up in a circle with a bunch of people Kya’s never seen in her life. Lin is pressed up against Kya’s left, and somehow, Bumi ends up on the complete opposite side of the circle. The guy on Bumi’s right is handed a vase with a portrait of Avatar Kyoshi painted on it by a girl dressed in Water Tribe clothing, and the vase is set down in the middle of the circle.

Kya groans audibly, but no one acknowledges it besides Lin, who squeezes her knee.

“We can leave, if you want,” she says carefully.

Kya shakes her head. “Not unless you want to.”

“Nah.” Lin looks around the circle. “We’re getting over my breakup, right? And Tenzin’s already moved on, so what’s a meaningless kiss in a stupid party game?”

Fair enough.

Someone explains the rules of the game, shouting over the white noise of everyone not involved talking or singing off-key to the tune of some instrument with at least one frayed string. You spin the vase, and you have to kiss whoever the top of the vase is pointing to. Or you can take a shot.

It’s a pointless game, really. And maybe Kya just thinks that because most of the people in this circle are guys, and the singular time she’d kissed a man had been more than enough of _that_. And maybe, also, because the only other time Kya played this game, the vase landed on a girl who looked so visibly disgusted at the thought of kissing Kya that she didn’t feel like she had a choice but to take a shot instead of kiss her.

Lin cheers along with the rest of the people playing the game whenever two people kiss, but Kya stays quiet. She alternates between watching Bumi, watching Lin, and letting her eyes wander around the circle and contemplating which people she’d choose to kiss over alcohol.

(Okay. She _said_ she’d stay sober. But looking around this circle, there are some things Kya just will not force herself to stomach. Besides, if she lands on Bumi, she won’t have a choice.)

Kya really doesn’t pay attention at all to the game until it’s Lin’s turn to spin the vase. She watches Avatar Kyoshi’s face spin around and around and wonders if her dad can feel the former Avatar rolling in her grave. She prays to someone - maybe Yue and La, maybe Kyoshi herself - that the vase doesn’t land on Bumi, because the last thing Lin needs to deal with tonight is kissing the brother of her ex-boyfriend, who she is specifically trying to get over.

 _Someone_ hears Kya’s prayers. The vase doesn’t stop on Bumi.

It lands on Kya.

Kya’s sure the entire room goes silent, but that also might just be her imagination as she looks over at Lin.

“Take a shot!” someone calls out.

“No way! That kiss would be _hot_.”

Several people snicker. Kya feels sick.

Lin raises her middle finger up in the direction of the second voice, but she keeps her eyes locked on Kya’s. “I can take a shot--”

“ _No_ ,” Kya interrupts, even though she wants to say _yes yes yes_ because she can’t kiss Lin _again_ \- she can’t--

Lin leans in, sealing their lips together and effectively emptying Kya’s head of every thought she’s ever had. Kya can feel the difference in this kiss. Lin is more sure of herself, more confident in what she’s doing. And Kya wants _more_ \- wants to keep kissing Lin for hours until she knows every little thing that makes her tick, every curve, every line, all of it.

But the kiss is over almost as soon as it begins, and Lin brings a hand up to Kya’s cheek as they break apart. Lin is smiling like they’re sharing an inside joke, and Kya supposes maybe they are. It’s not like they’ve told anyone else that Lin’s first kiss was actually Kya and not Tenzin.

Then someone wolfcat whistles and the moment is shattered. Kya looks away from Lin, trying to locate the source of the noise, and her eyes land on a guy who isn’t even _playing._

She bends the drink out of Bumi’s cup and onto the guy’s head, causing several people to laugh. But the only laugh Kya really _hears_ is Lin’s - light and happy, like maybe this party _is_ successfully distracting her from Tenzin and the breakup.

Kya lets Lin’s laugh spill through her veins and warm her chest, then reaches forward and spins the vase herself.

It lands on Bumi’s friend. Kya takes a shot.

**iii. 143 AG, Ba Sing Se**

Kya is silently cursing Sokka and Zuko to the Spirit World and back about twelve times over. She’s never letting them talk her into doing anything for them ever again. They can send Izumi on their secret missions seeing as she’s their _daughter_ , and _she_ is the one who should have to put up with them.

“Kya,” Lin hisses under her breath. “You have to relax, or you’re going to give us away.”

If _Izumi_ had been the one to go to this stupid masquerade ball, Kya wouldn’t have nearly tripped over her own two feet upon seeing Lin in her fancy green dress robes, and she wouldn’t have to deal with Lin’s arm linked with hers for hours on end. She thinks back to the conversation that led her to this exact moment, regretting every single thing in her life that caused it.

_“It’s a masquerade ball,” Sokka explains, brandishing the invitation for Kya to see. “The council doesn’t think there’s enough of a chance that Hayashi will_ actually _show up to send anyone officially, but I think that’s what he’s banking on.”_

_Kya reaches out and takes the invitation as Zuko says, “We’d go ourselves, but the council will know exactly what we’re doing if we clear our schedules for that day.”_

_According to the invitation, the ball is a week away. And it also says Kya is bringing a plus one._

_“How am I supposed to find Hayashi if everyone will be wearing masks?” Kya questions, flipping the invitation over in her hand. There’s no information offering a name for the plus one, but it would be a fake name anyways, so Kya supposes it doesn’t matter much._

_“Lin will go with you,” Zuko answers simply. Kya nearly chokes on her own spit. “She was there when Hayashi made his first move, and she said she can use seismic sense to find him.”_

_Kya looks up at the two of them, hoping to find anything that gives away the fact that Izumi_ must _have spilled a little too much to them, if they’re sending Kya to a ball with Lin. Both Sokka and Zuko’s expressions are schooled into something serious, though. Kya will have to bring it up with Izumi later._

_“Why do you need me, then?”_

_Sokka and Zuko look at each other and have one of their conversations that happens entirely via facial expressions. Kya glares at the braid framing the left side of Sokka’s face and the two red beads woven into it, hoping he feels her gaze and answers her question with actual words instead of a silent conversation with his husband._

_Finally, Sokka does speak up. “You’re right - Lin is very capable of doing this on her own. But we can’t send her without backup in good conscience. We wouldn’t send you alone either.”_

_“You’ll be helping each other,” Zuko says. “It’s best to go into something like this with someone you know has your back.”_

_Kya’s heard the Boiling Rock Story enough in her life to understand that has to be what Zuko is referencing. She pointedly does not think about the other half of the Boiling Rock Story - the part about how that was when Zuko first fell in love with Sokka. Because that isn’t relevant. Not at all._

_“Fine,” Kya gives in. “I’ll do it.”_

So now Kya is here, in Ba Sing Se, hoping Lin can’t feel how fast her heart is beating through her arm. And really, she can’t even wish she’d pawned this job off onto Izumi because Izumi has a two-month-old baby she’s taking care of and Kya doesn’t have anything better to do than let her uncles send her off on a dangerous (and semi-illegal) mission.

“ _Kya_ ,” Lin repeats, still not letting her voice get loud enough that anyone besides the two of them can hear.

“Sorry,” Kya mumbles. She uses her free hand to adjust her mask despite the fact that it doesn’t need fixed. “I’m just--” _a useless lesbian in love with my little brother’s ex_ “--on edge because I don’t exactly know what we’re looking for.”

Lin spins Kya so they’re facing each other, and she bats Kya’s hand away from her mask before reaching out to straighten it herself. Kya’s heartbeat stutters. There’s no way Lin can’t feel it through the ground or just close proximity to Kya in general, but she doesn’t mention it.

“We’ll be fine,” she breathes out. “Hayashi won’t try anything in front of people. Firebending isn’t generally something that’s easy to do subtly.”

Kya hums in response and Lin turns away, silently observing the crowd around them. She slips her arm around Kya’s waist, and it’s probably a good thing Kya isn’t a firebender, because she would be spontaneously combusting if she were. “I could get a better look if we were closer to everyone,” she mutters, eyes still staring straight ahead.

That… doesn’t sound entirely accurate, but Kya doesn’t know enough about seismic sense to dispute it. “Find someone to dance with,” she suggests.

“I don’t think I could stand dancing with anyone but you.”

_Oh._

Kya swallows down the bubbly feeling that’s started to swirl around her stomach. “Let’s dance, then,” she says like she isn’t dizzy from being so close to Lin already. 

Lin’s lips twitch upwards, and it can hardly be considered a smile, but Kya will count it as a victory anyways. She moves her hand from Kya’s waist to link their fingers together and leads her to the dance floor without another word.

“Do you know how to dance?” Lin questions once they stop walking and she turns to face Kya.

“More or less.”

“That’s not very reassuring,” Lin grumbles. She moves Kya’s hands so they’re resting on her shoulders. “Just follow my lead.”

Kya doesn’t have to be told twice.

They spin around the dance floor, Kya following Lin’s movements as best she can. It’s not like Kya’s never danced before, but the traditional Water Tribe and Air Nomad dances she knows are different enough from this sort of dancing that she’s grateful Lin knows what she’s doing. 

Kya studies Lin’s face as her eyes fall shut, and she knows she’s relying on her seismic senses alone to see now. Her shoes are an invention that was a combined effort between Sokka and Toph - ones that don’t have a sole, but still manage to remain securely on the foot and look like normal shoes do. As far as Kya’s aware, though, the only people with such shoes are Toph, Lin, and Suyin. (As far as Kya’s aware, the only other person who can even use seismic sense to ‘see’ through the earth is her dad.)

The dance they’re doing is slow, and it doesn’t take Kya long to pick up the rhythm of it. The two of them seamlessly transition into Kya leading so Lin can focus on looking for Hayashi. Lin stays pressed close to Kya, though, leaning into her to feel the movements of the dance. Kya does a very poor job of regulating her heartbeat, but maybe Lin is too focused on the mission to notice.

Suddenly, Lin’s eyes snap open. Before Kya can ask what’s wrong, she hisses, “He’s leaving,” under her breath and flicks her eyes towards an exit behind Kya and to her left. Kya doesn’t dare turn her head to look. “I scoped out the hallways when we first got here,” she continues, forcing Kya to continue dancing as she speaks. “We should be able to catch up with him through a different route.”

Kya nods once, not trusting herself to say anything as Lin drags her off the dance floor, an almost vice like grip on her arm. There’s nothing malicious in it, though - just something frantic and affectionate. Kya tries not to think about the implications of two people who came to a ball together running off into a back hallway, because they’re here _undercover_ \- not as actual partners or… _whatever_.

They walk briskly, Lin tugging Kya close to her. The hallways are big and empty, lined with plush green carpeting that must’ve cost a fortune. 

And then Lin stops, suddenly. Kya listens, straining her ears to see if she can hear anything that might answer _why_ Lin stopped walking, but she can’t. Which means it must be something Lin is feeling through the floor.

“Someone’s coming,” she whispers, fixing her eyes in the direction from which they just came. She mutters something else under her breath.

Kya looks around the hallway, but it’s empty apart from a few paintings decorating the walls. There’s nothing to make them look inconspicuous, and they’re _so close_ to catching up with Hayashi. They can’t get caught now. But what are they supposed to say if they get caught by a guard? Zuko and Sokka were explicitly told _not_ to send anyone to this ball based on the expectation that Hayashi would be here.

Wait.

“Kiss me,” Kya says.

Lin raises her eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Kiss me,” she repeats. “People sneak off from parties to make out all the time.” She crosses her arms. “We don’t have time to argue, and besides, it’s not like we haven’t--”

Kya is cut off by Lin pushing her up against the wall and kissing her. The surprised noise Kya makes is swallowed down by Lin. Kya moves her arms up to wrap them around Lin’s neck and deepens the kiss.

(Hey - if they’re going for this, they need to _sell it_.)

Lin digs her fingers into Kya’s waist, and Kya is _gone_.

It’s juvenile, really, how she’s spent so long convincing herself that her crush will fizzle out and fade away. She’d scoffed at Izumi, Tenzin, and Lin all on separate occasions when they told her they were trying to stomp out a crush because _it doesn’t work like that; you can’t just say you’re done and have it be over_ , and then she’d turned around and tried to do just that. 

It never went away completely, because of course it didn’t. Kya had buried her feelings under every possible distraction she could find, but ultimately, she’s had a thing for Lin since she was nineteen years old and helping her practice kissing. And now they’re making out in a back hallway, but it’s _fake_ because they’re undercover and they need a good excuse for why they’re here and this was _Kya’s_ idea in the first place. But _Tui and La_ it was a dumb one.

Kya’s two stupidest mistakes involve kissing Lin, really. And she’s honestly not quite sure if she’ll ever be able to top them.

(Knock on wood. Kya hopes the spirits didn’t hear that thought and rub their hands together in evil anticipation.)

She hears heavy footsteps in the back of her mind, but she doesn’t register what that means until Lin is moving her lips to Kya’s jawline and Kya catches sight of two guards turning the corner. They stop in their tracks, mid-conversation. One has a hand on the hilt of their sword.

Kya, half out of her mind at the sensation of Lin’s lips making their way down to her neck, just asks, “Is there a problem, officers?” Lin huffs out a laugh, hot breath tickling Kya’s throat.

“ _Nope_!” The shorter of the two squeaks out. Their faces are mostly obscured by their helmets, but Kya can assume they’re beet red. They promptly turn on their heels and walk back in the direction they came from. As they go, Kya hears one of them whisper, “Was that the Avatar’s daughter?”

Lin laughs again at that, but shuts up when the other guard says, “I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure the other one was Chief Beifong’s oldest kid.” Then, it’s Kya’s turn to giggle.

Lin grumbles and straightens up. Kya almost whines at the loss of contact, but she stops herself because Lin is not, in fact, actually her girlfriend. And they are not, in fact, _supposed_ to be kissing each other - especially now that the threat of being caught by guards is (probably) gone.

“If word gets back to our parents, we’re both going to end up having an unwanted conversation with them.”

Kya rolls her eyes. “My parents have known I’m a lesbian since I was seventeen. _Your_ mom is going to try to have a “So You’re Gay?” talk with _you_.” She offers Lin a faux apologetic look. “It’ll make you more sympathetic to the queer experience.”

Lin opens her mouth, then closes it. She pulls her hands off Kya (and _oh_ \-- they were still holding onto each other) and furrows her eyebrows. “Kya… I thought--” she hesitates. “You do realize I’m _not_ straight… right?”

Um.

 _No_.

Kya did _not_ realize that. In fact, she’d been hinging the hope for her stupid crush to fizzle away on the fact that she thought Lin _was_ straight, so there was _no way_ her feelings would be reciprocated.

(And okay. Maybe that might have blinded her to some obvious signs and hints Lin had dropped over the years, but she can’t explain _why_ she didn’t pick up on said signs and hints.)

“Oh.” She mentally slaps herself and searches desperately for some sort of recovery. “I just figured anyone who would date Tenzin must be heterosexual.” There. Sokka would be proud of Kya turning something serious into a joke.

Lin laughs like she knows something Kya doesn’t, but Kya doesn’t have too long to dwell on it, because Lin grabs her hand and says, “Come on. We need to keep moving.”

**iv. 150 AG, Southern Air Temple**

Tenzin has done a lot of annoying things in his life. The most frustrating, by far, is getting married.

The issue isn’t Tenzin in and of himself, really. The issue is that Kya is not married, and at this point, it’s looking a little bit like she’s never going to marry. Which, quite honestly, Kya isn’t all that perturbed by. She likes her life just fine and she doesn’t need a significant other to complete it. Everyone else, however, seems to be personally offended that the youngest of Avatar Aang’s kids is the first to get married.

At least Bumi is suffering with Kya.

Ah, yes. Avatar Aang’s two eldest children - the one who can’t fall in love at all and the one who can only fall in love with other women. Kya’s sure that’s _exactly_ the kind of picturesque family her parents hoped and dreamed of.

She knocks the rest of her drink back and looks around to see if anyone’s nearby could refill it for her. She catches sight of Lin and Izumi a couple tables over, and forgets about a refill in favor of going over to them. Hopefully, if she’s already locked in a conversation with two people as important as the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation and the Chief of Police in Republic City, no one will tap her on the shoulder and ask when _she’s_ going to get married, as if her last relationship didn’t end three years ago.

(As if they’d _want_ her to get married if they knew she would be marrying another woman.)

Izumi scoffs when Kya sits down and immediately props her feet up on the table.

“You look like my mom,” Lin comments.

“You two _both_ look like you need to drink some water and eat some food,” Izumi responds. She reaches across Lin and pushes Kya’s feet off the table. “Come on, Kya. Lin’s allowed to get drunk because this is her ex’s wedding. Considering you’re the sister of the groom, you should be keeping yourself at least a little sober.”

Kya tries to glare at Izumi, but she doesn’t think it comes across right, because Izumi just raises an eyebrow, unamused. Kya groans. “If you had people asking left and right when you’re getting married and when you’re going to start a family because your little brother got married before you even found someone you would _consider_ marriage with, you’d want to drink the night off too.”

Lin nods. “Let Kya drink.” She reaches for her glass, takes a sip, then hands it over to Kya, who takes a drink as well. It’s different from what she’d been drinking earlier - sweeter, definitely - but she has no idea what it is. Not that it really matters.

Izumi watches Kya place the glass back on the table. An odd expression is etched across her face when she looks back up to Kya. It’s something Kya would probably be able to name if she were sober, but the only word her brain is supplying her with to describe it right now is _weird_. Finally, Izumi sighs. “Okay.” She folds her hands together on the table. “That’s… understandable. I’m sorry.”

Kya shrugs. “It’s whatever. I’m sure Bumi’s suffering the same fate somewhere here.” She looks around, as if she’ll be able to pick him out in the crowd of people. “I feel worse for him than I do myself, I think. At least I _could_ marry someone someday. He’s probably having the idea of romance shoved down his throat when that’s something he’s never wanted.” She swipes Lin’s cup and takes another drink from it.

Izumi purses her lips, eyes darting back and forth between Lin and Kya. “Unfortunately, you’re probably right.” She stands up and smoothes her robes out. “I’m going to attempt to find my dads. Please don’t do anything stupid.”

“When have we ever done anything stupid?” Kya calls after her.

“You do stupid things all the time,” Lin responds immediately. She frowns. “Wait, hold on. ‘Zumi you can’t tell _us_ to not do stupid things when you’re probably gonna find your dads teaching your kid how to use firebending to fly.” Lin laughs at her own comment, and Kya hears herself giggling along.

“ _Agni_ ,” Izumi mutters under her breath. She adds something else onto it that Kya can’t make out, and then she’s lost in the crowd of people. 

Kya loses track of time and conversation after that. She gets more drinks for her and Lin both. She probably congratulates Tenzin and Pema when they walk past. Mai and Ty Lee talk to her and Lin, but Kya has no clue what they talked about. She knows _they_ didn’t insinuate Kya is running out of time to get married, so that might constitute it as Kya’s favorite conversation of the night.

Eventually, Kya asks Lin if she wants to get some fresh air (or maybe Lin asks Kya?) and then they’re standing on a balcony Kya found shortly after she first arrived for all the pre-wedding things she had to help with. 

The next series of events happens over the course of a thousand years as well as four seconds.

Kya is mimicking Bumi, spinning around and doing some sort of dance of Bumi’s own creation (though in her drunken state, she highly doubts she’s getting any of the moves even half right), and she trips over her own feet. Lin is right there to steady her, though, grabbing Kya’s forearm with one hand and wrapping the other arm around her waist.

Kya might stare into Lin’s eyes for half a second or she might stare into them for an eternity. Time is syrupy and thick and everything outside of Lin is faraway and unreal. She’s so close and soft and pretty and Kya’s dizzy and they’re so close so close _so close_ \--

In Kya’s defense, it’s definitely Lin who closes the distance between them. Also in Kya’s defense, the alcohol is making this seem like the greatest idea ever. 

It’s like-- They say you never forget your first love, that somewhere deep in your chest, you’re always going to love them a little bit. Kya thinks that’s probably true. She’s seen it in the stories her grandfather told of her grandmother, for whom Kya was named. She’s seen it in the way Sokka still looks at the moon with a heavy sadness in his eyes. 

It’s like, if you try to just shove your feelings into the pit of your stomach, they’re not going to fully go away. You’ll always be one wrong step away from the boiling up and the bubbling over and the realization that it’s too late to do anything but fall.

It’s like the cold winds of the Southern Water Tribe biting your cheeks for the first time in years because you’ve finally returned home. It’s like the familiar feelings of your childhood, but they’re cloudier and floatier and you wonder if this might be what it feels like to bend air - like your feet aren’t on the ground and they might never return because this rush is far superior to anything the earth has to offer. It’s like this was always meant to happen - like every road they took was meant to lead them here, to each other.

It’s like Lin’s hands are tangled in Kya’s hair and Kya is backing her against a wall and Kya’s mind is mostly making a bunch of unintelligible noises.

The world could stop spinning and Kya wouldn’t feel a thing.

When they inevitably part for air, Lin smiles the softest smile Kya’s ever seen her wear and brings her hand around to Kya’s face, her thumb resting against Kya’s lips. “Your makeup smudged,” she whispers, wiping at it with her thumb. 

Kya hums, and it sounds a lot like the inside of her brain does at the present moment. “Worth it,” she mumbles. “You’re a good kisser.”

Lin chuckles lightly. “I learned from the best.”

And really, what is Kya supposed to do in response to that besides lean in and kiss Lin again and again and again until they’re both out of breath with smudged makeup and hair falling out of place?

(The memories are mostly lost by the next morning, and what they do remember, they silently agree to not bring up again.)

**v. 155 AG, Caldera City**

After the first several years of Fire Lord Zuko’s rule, the assassination attempts became few and far between. That’s not to say they don’t still happen - clearly, considering the position Kya is in at the present moment - but they’re uncommon these days, to say the least. Kya figures it probably has a little to do with Druk. 

Unfortunately, even a dragon isn’t enough to deter everyone.

And it seems, also, benders who have been trained and raised by the same bending masters who trained Avatar Aang, are not enough to deter every assassin. Because upon finding both Kya and Lin with Izumi, they didn’t back down.

Kya figures out why when one of the assassins lands a well aimed hit on her arm and it goes numb. She still has enough control to wrench it upwards and block a hit on her other arm, but she’s down a limb for bending. And the force with which she blocks the assassin’s second attempt to chi block tells her she’s definitely going to have a bruise there tomorrow.

“They’re chi blockers!” Izumi calls out.

“Yeah, I got that already,” Kya grumbles. She glances over at Izumi just long enough to see one of her arms hanging limp at her side too. 

To the assassins’ credit, Izumi, Kya, and Lin _are_ very much outnumbered. But really, would it be a fair fight if they weren’t? At least whoever wants Izumi dead figured out it was going to take more than just a couple firebenders to take her out.

Also to the assassins’ credit, they land a punch on Lin, which sets off a chain reaction of events. 

Lin shouts - more in surprise than pain - and Kya instinctively looks over to her to make sure she’s okay. In Kya’s moment of distraction, the assassin she’d been fighting manages to chi block Kya’s other arm, and the water she’d been bending splashes to the ground. 

“Tui and La,” Kya mutters under her breath.

“Kya--?” Lin’s voice is the last thing Kya hears before something knocks against the back of her head and the world goes black.

\--

Kya’s entire body feels both fuzzy and like she’s just been dropped off a cliff. She can hear voices, though they could be the remnants of a dream - it’s hard to tell right now.

Slowly, the world comes a little more into focus. Enough so, at least, that she can make out what the voices are saying, though she keeps her eyes firmly shut. 

“Her mom’s going to kill us.”

“Her mom’s going to kill _you_ , babe. _I_ have sibling immunity.”

A sigh. “If Katara _does_ kill me, tell them I pardoned her for it.” Footsteps, coming closer. “Lin, how is your arm doing?”

“Fine, it’s fine.” That’s Lin’s voice - Kya _knows_ that, even in her delirious half-conscious state. It’s rushed and worried, but the worry feels disconnected from the inquiry about her arm. A hand, brushing Kya’s hair off her face. Gentle. Caring. Lovely. A home Kya barely remembers existing, but one she knows must have existed all the same. “She’s going to be okay, isn’t she?”

 _Yes_ , Kya thinks. Her mouth isn’t working, though. Her entire body feels a little sleep paralyzed, so maybe everything that’s happening really is some sort of lucid dream she can hear and feel but not see. Maybe the voices are her sleep paralysis demons - though, if they’re demons, they don’t seem to be malicious ones. Sleep paralysis spirits? Sleep paralysis friends?

“She’ll be fine, Lin.” Comforting. Soft. 

More footsteps, walking away. “I’m going to go check in with the healer and ‘Zumi.”

“Okay.” A pause. “I’ll come with you.” Footsteps. A door opening. A door closing. Silence.

Kya feels herself slipping back into the abyss of sleep, but a weight against her hand slows the process. Fingers entwining with hers. A whisper: “This is all my fault. I’m the one who convinced you to come with me early to help prepare for the coronation.”

 _That’s silly_ , Kya thinks. _I would’ve come anyways. I would go anywhere you asked, no matter the consequences._ Her mouth is dry and her lips are sealed together by some invisible force - the same one dragging her into unconsciousness. She’s not sure if she’s already there or not when she feels a gentle kiss on her forehead.

A squeeze of her hand.

“I’ll wait for you.”

 _That’s nice._ Foggy, blurry. Pounding headache. _I love you_.

And, finally, sleep.

  
  


**\+ i. 156 AG, Southern Water Tribe**

Izumi is Fire Lord, Lin is Chief of Police, Bumi is a commanding officer, Tenzin is part of the Republic City council, Katara has just begun training Avatar Korra, Sokka and Zuko are enjoying retirement, and Kya is--

Well.

She’s probably seen more of the world than both her siblings combined at this point, but that doesn’t _mean_ anything. She’s tried her hand at more jobs than she can remember, but nothing ever stuck. And now she’s back home (or, the place where she spent her childhood), but her mother doesn’t really even need her here anymore.

She just… doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

Which is why, when she gets a letter from Lin saying she’s being forced on a weeklong vacation since she hasn’t had a day off in longer than anyone can remember and asking if she can come stay with Kya in the Southern Water Tribe, Kya doesn’t hesitate to accept.

(She’s careful not to go overboard and tell Lin she can stay as long as she likes. Because, unlike Kya, Lin has people who are actually, you know, counting on her.)

Lin arrives a week later, bundled up in a dark green parka and looking disgruntled about the freezing temperatures.

“You know it’s summer in Republic City right now,” she comments as Kya takes her bags.

“Well you didn’t _have_ to come to the South Pole in the dead of winter,” Kya responds, raising an eyebrow. “You _asked_. You could’ve gone to Ember Island.” Or literally _anywhere else_ in the entire world, considering every other place on earth would be warmer than the Southern Water Tribe this time of year.

Lin hums. “I could have. I wanted to see you, though.”

“Oh,” Kya whispers. She thinks it might get swept up in the wind before it has a chance to reach Lin’s ears. She clears her throat and raises her voice. “Well, I hope I’m worth eating sea prunes, because my mom is making us eat dinner with her and Avatar Korra’s family tonight.” She glances back long enough to grin at Lin’s attempt to smile at the thought of sea prunes. “Kidding. About the sea prunes, I mean. We _are_ being required to attend dinner.”

Lin rolls her eyes. “Whatever your mom wants.”

Dinner is uneventful, save for Korra deciding she needs to do a waterbending demonstration for Lin. Lin seems surprised at the fact that Korra even looked at her twice, much less that she insisted she _had_ to show Lin the bending techniques Katara has been teaching her. 

The nice thing about having dinner with Korra’s family, too, is that it doesn’t last very late because Senna and Tonraq need to take Korra home so she can sleep. (Even if Korra insists through half-lidded eyes that she could stay up for ‘one hundred more hours’.) 

It’s dark when they leave, but it’s been dark since fall began and it will be dark straight through until the beginning of spring. It’s one of Kya’s favorite things about the South Pole - it’s something entirely unique to the Water Tribes. The only other place where you can find six months of daylight and six months of darkness is the North Pole. And there’s something about the darkness that’s comforting, though Kya knows that’s not an opinion she shares with very many people.

It probably has something to do with the stars - the way their twinkling permeates the endless void of blackness that hangs heavy for six straight months. 

She doesn’t notice she’s staring upwards until she feels Lin’s hand on her arm, rooting her back into reality. She looks around. Senna, Tonraq, and Korra are gone. Katara is too - she must’ve gone back inside.

“You alright?” Lin asks, when Kya’s gaze finally comes to rest on her.

There are several layers of fabric separating Lin’s hand from actually touching Kya’s arm - mittens and a coat and Kya’s clothes - but the pressure is still making Kya’s brain short circuit. Her mind brings up a memory that feels sugary and dream-like - one Kya isn’t sure she believes is even real - of Lin sitting at her bedside kissing her forehead and promising to wait for her to wake up.

Kya swallows thickly and nods. “I’m-- okay.” She looks up at the sky again, not trusting herself to let her eyes linger on Lin for a moment longer. The constellations overlap in her mind - the ones from the stories she grew up with, the ones Zuko and Izumi taught her, the ones she learned from Suki. The otter penguin constellation shares some of its stars with the elephant koi constellation, which shares some of its stars with the fire lily constellation. “Just zoned out, I guess.”

“Are the stars really that interesting?” Kya can hear the quirked eyebrow in Lin’s voice, can picture how her face must look right now - a little confused, a little playful, and entirely like a reminder that Kya will never be able to forget the taste of her lips.

“Actually, they are,” Kya shoots back. “It’s crazy how people can look up at the same stars and find entirely different stories woven into them.”

Lin makes a noncommittal noise. “I wouldn’t know.”

Kya glances over at her. “You wouldn’t?”

“Who would’ve taught me the constellations? My mom?” 

Kya’s jaw drops open. “Okay. New plan for your vacation: I’m teaching you the constellations - the ones from the Earth Kingdom, at least.” She goes to put a finger to Lin’s lips to cut off her argument, but given the mittens on her hands, she ends up just covering Lin’s mouth. “No arguing. This is important.”

\--

The best place to stargaze is on the roof of the city hall building, so that’s where Kya takes Lin. When she was little, she’d come up here with Sokka during his visits and listen to him tell the same stories about the stars she’d heard countless times before. Sometimes, when she started getting tired, he’d throw in an outrageous side plot, and Kya would tell him _That’s not how the story goes!_ but she’d listen to the new additions to the story all the same.

Now, she points out the major Earth Kingdom constellations that can be seen from the South Pole for Lin, and gives her quick rundowns of the stories that go with them.

She’s half way through the story behind the elephant koi constellation when her voice trails off. “Lin, are you even listening to me?”

“Hm?” Lin blinks, then yawns. “Oh. Yeah. The elephant koi was,” she makes a vague gesture with her hand, “talking to the… the guy.”

Kya sighs. “Okay. We can be done for tonight.”

Lin nods in response. She doesn’t make any effort to move, though, so the two of them sit in silence, staring up at the stars.

Kya doesn’t know how much time passes before Lin speaks up. When she does, it’s quiet and soft. “I think I’ve been throwing myself into my work so much because I still feel guilty about something I probably shouldn’t.”

Kya frowns. “What do you feel guilty about?”

There’s a deep sigh, and then several moments of silence from Lin. Finally, she says, “Everything that happened with Tenzin.”

Oh. That’s… not what Kya was expecting, to say the least. It’s been eighteen years since the Lin-Tenzin-Pema fiasco, and Lin assured Kya on multiple occasions after the fact that she was entirely and fully _over_ Tenzin. Not to mention, as far as Kya’s aware, Lin was never in the wrong.

“Can I… Can I ask what you feel guilty about, specifically?”

“I didn’t actually care if Pema and Tenzin started dating,” Lin confesses. “Or-- I _did_ , but not for the right reasons. I didn’t want to date Tenzin anymore at that point. I just wanted to _want_ to date him, and I thought… I thought, maybe, if I could convince him to choose me over Pema, I could convince myself I was in love with him. But I wasn’t. In love with him, I mean. I thought--” She shakes her head. “It sounds stupid.”

Kya places a hand on Lin’s shoulder. “I’m not here to judge you.”

“I know.” Lin looks over at Kya, then. “You know how, after a long relationship ends, people will tell you _There are other guys out there,_ or whatever?”

Kya nods.

“I _knew_ Tenzin was it for me. If I didn’t marry him, there would be no man I _would_ marry. But… at the same time, I was over him long before we broke up. I kept trying to tell myself we were just hitting a rough patch, that love was _supposed_ to feel just… bland. But it’s not.”

“No,” Kya agrees. “It’s not.”

“I wasn’t in love with Tenzin, because I couldn’t have fallen in love with him, or any other man,” Lin admits.

“You’re gay,” Kya concludes, and it doesn't really shock her as much as she thought it would. “And I’m guessing Tenzin doesn’t know?”

Lin shakes her head. “I didn’t think it would matter if I ever told him, because after we broke up, we just… didn’t see each other anymore. But now that he’s on the council… I just keep thinking about how he still doesn’t know his first relationship was entirely one-sided. And it’s not like that’s something I can just casually mention.” She grimaces. “It’s just… weird.” She looks like there’s something else she wants to say, but she doesn’t say it.

“Wow,” Kya comments, because she’s not entirely sure what to say. “For what it’s worth, I doubt Tenzin would be too worked up about it. I mean… you weren’t _deliberately_ deceiving him, and he’s an Air Nomad - they’re, like, required by law to be nice.”

“I know. There’s also…” Lin hesitates. “Well. I’m not entirely sure he’d be too fond of who I, uh, actually have feelings for.”

Kya’s brain simultaneously goes into overdrive and stops functioning altogether. There’s no way this is going to all work out in Kya’s favor.

Is there?

 _She came to the South Pole in the dead of winter for you,_ a voice in the back of Kya’s mind reminds her. _Remember Sokka’s story about Zuko doing the same for him?_

Lin could have spent her vacation anywhere in the world, and she came to _Kya_. 

“Lin--?” It’s stunted, short, Kya’s voice won’t _work_ , but she has to, needs to, _has_ to--

“Kya, I’m…”

Kya reaches out and grabs Lin’s wrists in her hands, tugging Lin close to her. “Kiss me. For real, this time. _Please_ ”

Lin does.

And it feels _right_.

**Author's Note:**

> i finally finished tlok over winter break and i just... i love kya ii and kyalin So Much. they deserved to have at least one scene together but it's fine, bryke was scared of their power wbk
> 
> you can find me on [tumblr](https://zukkaclawthorne.tumblr.com/)


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